One year ago, on June 13th 2019, I took a leap of faith – letting go of everything I’ve ever known and done for the past 18 years of my life.
I knew I needed to make a move – the #EmsLife🚑💨 was crushing my body and my soul; but starting over is never easy and this past year has been full of ups and downs.
My best (and worst) defining moment was probably back in January when I was going through alot personally, with the loss of another close friend/former work partner, continuing to navigate the legal case following the deaths of my parents, doing my best to learn this new job, with all its tasks, responsibilities, and the skillset required to excel at it, all the while training for a Boston Qualifying Marathon performance at a race that was subsequently (months later) cancelled due to Covid-19.
Emotionally, I was drained.
I was breaking down and contemplating faking my own death, moving to Mexico, and supporting myself by mixing margaritas and braiding hair on the beach! 😂
If you know anything about Dr. Amanda though – you know that she is not going to just let you shrink back or fade away from all that you are and all that you can be. Nope. Not without a fight.
That particular fight is one that I am not proud of, yet, one that I am so grateful for now, as I look back.
I remember crying and, at one point, screaming: “If I’m not good enough, then f*ck*ng fire me!”
To which she grabbed my hands, put her face so close to mine, and calmly replied: “YOU are the only one who’s saying that you aren’t good enough. I want you here. I need you here. You BELONG here. If you want to go, then go – but you’re going to have to quit.”
Me : “I don’t quit.”
Dr. A : “I know. I’m counting on it.”
Yeah. That day was tough.
Had anyone else been in that particular moment with me/us, it would have created a division in the relationship. This would have been the beginning of the “leaving”.
But not with her. Not with this team.
To quote myself from a previous interview a year ago : “I am here. Right now. And that’s a really great place to be.”…
…and I have a really good feeling that the best is yet to come!