“The End… of my E.M.S. Life.”

“I didn’t become a Paramedic to get a front row seat to other people’s tragedies. I did it because I knew the world was bleeding and so was I, and somewhere inside I knew the only way to stop my own bleeding was to learn how to stop someone else’s.”

– Daniel José Older, E.M.T.

Sometimes it’s best to write it down, to simply get it out of your head. Sometimes it makes a lot more sense once you see it for yourself, in black & white.

🚑💨 – THE EMS LIFE, Part I : In The Thick Of It.

I have held children newly born, as well as, dying or lifeless in my arms. I have held hands with the lonely, the scared, and the brave. I have watched as vehicles have taken away lives too soon and torn families apart. I have stood beside and behind my “brothers” and “sisters” as we’ve worked together to save our patients and, sometimes, even ourselves. I have seen what hate does with its bullets, fists, and blades. I have watched as those too sad have taken their own lives, as well as, borne witness to many a “last kiss”. I have seen endless people, young and old, struggle with medical issues – predisposed and self-imposed. I have watched as the grips of drugs have killed the innocent…and the guilty. I have had to tell people that their loved ones will never come back and watch their tears as I carry the body away. I have been cursed at, spit on and, multiple times, attacked. I have laughed with many and cried with more. I have been able to save many, but have had to “pronounce” many more. No matter what we do, it will never be enough. I have seen into the eyes of angels and of demons so, the next time you look into my own eyes and wonder, just remember that I have seen things that only some can handle and done things that even fewer can deal with.

I am a Paramedic. I am here to help.

Asking a Paramedic: “What’s the worst thing you’ve ever seen?”, is like saying “Relive, for me, your worst nightmares – the images you can’t get out of your head, the things that completely changed the kind of person you are.” – If you’re reading this, please – don’t ask.

🚑💨 – The EMS Life, Part II : Breaking Free.

“What’s a nice girl like me doing in a place like this?”

Except… I’m not that girl anymore.

Maybe I never really was?

Perhaps I got so caught up in saving “the world” simply because I had no idea how to save myself?

But life goes on and time changes everything.

My vision is clearer now and I can plainly see – that girl in steel toed boots and blues is not who I’m meant to be.

“Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, until you are able to do what you want to do.”

– Kurt Warner

I used to run to those who needed saved – now I walk amongst those who choose to save themselves.

I entered my “inactive” phase 2 & 1/2 years ago, after 17 years straight of fulltime service… but TODAY marks the official end of my “E.M.S. Life”.

It’s been quite a ride and I am grateful for every moment, every memory, every friendship and every lesson learned along the way… but I’ve moved on now, and I have no interest in ever going back. This is most certainly the end of my E.M.S. career. PA Paramedic #203543 has now, officially, expired.

My E.M.S. Life: 06/10/2002 – 12/31/2021

“Every New Beginning.”

“Sometimes the changes you fear the most and the losses that hit you the hardest help you find peace, strength, and joy like you’ve never imagined possible.”

– Lori Deschene

You will never truly understand anything until it actually happens to you. Marriage, divorce, childbirth, parenting, personal injury, the death of a loved one, the loss of a friendship… theories and assumptions of situations in life are not realities. You may think you are smarter than most – until life humbles you when it’s your turn. No matter how much you learn, change, understand and grow, the people around you can only meet you as deeply as they have met themselves.

As this year comes to a close, I can’t help but to look back and reflect – not in regret, or with any angst over the things that I wish were different and can do nothing more to change, but rather, with quiet introspection and a simple observance of how things are not always as they may initially seem. With this insight, I must admit, that this year has taken its toll on us all.

Unlike previous years, I have no recap to offer, nor any resolutions for the fast approaching New Year… just this feeling of contentment as I take a deep breath and let it all go, holding on only to hope for this next year to bring with it more blessings than lessons and more love than loss.🤍

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”

– Semisonic, “Closing Time”

“Do The F*ck*ng Work!”

Let me tell you about my sister.

She is literally one of the most incredible people I know! Just look at what she has done for herself over the course of this past year!

She has not only changed the way that she eats – but also the way that she views food, nutrition, health and, most importantly, her SELF as a human being! She has completely overhauled her life and dropped the weight of nearly another human being from her body – 100+ lbs all in just the past year! Not to mention, she is a wife, mother of 4, AND she works 5 days a week… so make no excuses – because she sure as hell doesn’t!

I can not even begin to tell the world how very proud of her that I am or how much I admire her! If you take away nothing more from this post, I hope that it is this:


…but you have got to be willing to:


Don’t wait till Monday, or New Year’s Day, or when you get back from your next vacation.

Do it NOW!

…because “tomorrow” never comes.

…because “someday” is where dreams go to die.

…because illness, injury, and unforeseen occurrence befall us all and the only way to go far in Life is to do our best NOW to prevent any of “that stuff” from stopping us short.

Do it because you’re worth it.

…because you deserve it.

…because your family and your friends need you.

And they love you.

Do it because you love them.

…because love yourself.

As you should.

You’re the only YOU this world has got. And little by little, a little becomes a lot!

There – in the words of my friend, Tony:

“You’ve just been pep talked! Now, GO GET TODAY!”

– Tony Garcia