“I’d Do It All Again.”

“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.”

George Washington Carver

Nearly five years of consistent therapy sessions has finally taught me that I am not a problem to be solved, nor am I broken, requiring to be fixed.

I am a spiritual being, constantly evolving. As such, I continue to change and grow, and am constantly transforming. This process takes time. It can not be rushed.

All of the things I’ve experienced along the way, the good and the bad, I had to go through them in order to find myself – because all of this didn’t just happen by chance. And, if I had the choice, I’d do it all again.

I know that growth requires pain and sometimes light demands the darkness in order to be seen. I realize now that I had to go through my darkest of moments in order to find, and be able to actually appreciate, my light.

It didn’t happen over night, but today I woke up and realized that my “someday” is finally here. I made the decision, a long time ago, to take the first small step towards becoming my best self. And, today, I am in awe of how far I have actually come.

It occurred to me this morning that what once plagued my mental health, no longer holds power over me. I’ve made it out of that fiery hell that I used to burn in. I took a look back over the time it took to get me here, and all the things I’ve worked to overcome along the way; things I once doubted if I could even do. I realize now how, while going through it, there were so many little steps I took that seemed so insignificant at the time. But now that they have been added together, I can clearly see how they have accumulated to significantly change my life.

I am thankful that I have been consistent – that I was persistent in my desire to develop a healthy well being. I take full responsibility for myself, as well as the many times that I have added unnecessary weight to my own burdens. I forgive myself for the times I fell back into the slums of my own misery… because, every time I did, I needed it less and less. Every time I wanted to give up, and every time I thought I might give in, I stayed true to my course instead.

The measures I took to enrich my life, haven’t always been easy – it is, at times, a literal destruction of the old and reconstruction of the new. It is a diligent, intricate, and beautiful combination of work to obtain (and maintain) exponential growth – but I’m doing it!

It’s most certainly not always “sunshine and rainbows” and cultivating a positive attitude is a must! Not every day will be a “good” day. The trick is to never let the “bad” days win. Even if they show up in weeks or months at a time, don’t ever let the bad days make you believe that this is a bad life. Instead, be an energy converter. Whatever comes your way, convert it into what you want it to become. Not everything is always as it seems. So many things actually depend upon how you choose to respond, rather than how it “has to be”.

So stop waiting until you feel 100% ready because, the truth is, you’ll never feel completely ready.

Stop waiting for the “perfect” moment, because the perfect moment simply doesn’t exist.

The moment is NOW, so take that leap of faith.

Be scared – but do it anyway. Be under-qualified – but apply for it anyway. Be messy, imperfect, and unsure – but show up and do your best anyway.

Your potential is endless. Don’t let fear or laziness stand in the way of you starting a new chapter.

Comfort is the enemy of growth. If you truly want your life to change, it’s time to get uncomfortable. Life is full of undeniable blessings… many of which emerge through challenges and change.

You might lose people. You might lose friends. You might lose pieces of yourself that you never imagined would be gone – but then, without warning, these pieces will slowly begin to come back to you. New people will enter. Better friends will come along. Bigger opportunities will present themselves. Pretty soon you’ll wake up in the morning to find a stronger, wiser YOU is staring back in the mirror and, in this moment, you’ll look back on your journey and be thankful that you didn’t give up on yourself.

Even on my worst days, I’m grateful for the passions that are innately imbedded in my soul because, no matter how steep my challenges may be, they motivate me to show up and try again tomorrow. And, if I had the choice, I’d do it all over again. Because I know now exactly where this path will lead – to this very moment, right here, right now. Because my whole life began to change, when I finally decided to change my own life.


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