Month: January 2024

“If you think about a young child learning how to walk, that child will fall down and hurt themselves hundreds of times. But at no point does that child ever stop and think, “Oh, I guess walking just isn’t for me. I’m not good at it.”

Mark Manson

I started my new job at the beginning of the year, working in the gym. It’s going really well… even better than I’d anticipated, and I thoroughly enjoy it.

I’ve also opted to hire a new Doctor and Performance Coach to take over my Chiropractic adjustments, as well as teach me better form and running technique. As it turns out, I suck… and not just at running.

I say that jokingly, but it’s actually true. I have never felt more clumsy, awkward, uncomfortable or uncoordinated in my entire life. But I love it! And I am learning so much!

I started seeing Dr. Dan back in December, after coming to the conclusion that my body needs more than just a regular chiropractic adjustment schedule in order to keep improving. My progress has stagnated and I’m tired of being told that this is as good as it gets. I don’t believe that. And as it turns out, I’m right.

In just the first few days of implementing subtle changes into my daily routine, I noticed a significant decrease in my level of pain. A few weeks later, an increase in my functional mobility and range of motion. I’m beginning to regain control of muscles I literally haven’t been able to feel since my accident. The mind-body connection that I’ve lost is slowly starting to return.

It’s not easy. At times, it’s quite emotional.

I am literally re-learning how to stand, how to walk, how to run, and absolutely everything in between! It’s difficult. It’s painful. And, crazy as it sounds, it’s actually quite strenuous. The muscle cramps and spasms I experience with nearly every exercise is pure hell.

It would be so easy to become discouraged. To give up on my awkward, uncoordinated, clumsy body, and revert right back to what I’ve always done, because that’s what’s “normal”. That’s what feels comfortable and familiar. But resilience isn’t built in your comfort zone. Resilience is built in hell.

It’s crazy when you think about it – every single one of us has, at some point in our lives, been through something so difficult, so painful, or so challenging that it changed us forever. We may not know it at the time, but those are the situations that break something inside of us, and we can never be rebuilt exactly the same way. We might think that we’re weak… but that’s not weakness. It’s actually your greatest strength… and your ticket out of hell.

Tell me something – how do you build a muscle? You tear it down and it heals back stronger.

How do you create a scar? You suffer damage, and it heals stronger.

How do you get back to paradise after going through hell? You rebuild yourself into something stronger. Not the same as you were, but stronger than before.

This isn’t about picking up the pieces and putting them back together. I’ve already gone through all that. And my Doctors would have me believe that this is as good as it gets. For someone not trying to run and jump and lift and climb, maybe it would be? Perhaps this would be “enough”? But I am not that someone.

Don’t get me wrong, each and every one of my medical providers has done one hell of a job, taking all of my broken pieces and putting them back together… but it will never be “like nothing ever happened”. Because something did happen, and you cannot ever completely undo that kind of damage. You can’t just pick up these pieces… these pieces have to pick you up, and they decide how you need to be rebuilt. You won’t be the same as you were before. You will be stronger. Because those broken pieces are bringing experience and pain and grief, and they’re using it all for fuel.

To grow your mind, heart, body, and spirituality, you must first accept ALL of your wounds. Welcome them. Embrace them. Only then will you become resilient in continuing your chase. You can no longer be hurt by whatever comes your way. Because you know what hell is like, you’ve already felt it. You just keep on moving. And so do I.

#BeyondTheBoylstonLine

I’ve been thinking back quite a bit recently… reflecting on the last five years of my life. If I had to sum it all up, everything I’ve learned, I’d say that one day you will realize how it is entirely possible to have everything on the surface but an emptiness just beneath. Sometimes it seems like we have all this STUFF – more than enough of what we want, yet very little of what we actually need. Because the things we truly need require us to risk. To face. To be honest and true. They require us to step up and ask for the love we are seeking, and then to give it all back, a thousand times over. They shatter our egos and diminish our defenses. They make us start all over again, again and again, until we have built a little corner of the world that we’re proud of. Until we’ve arrived, not at a place where there is nothing but peace outside of us, but at a place within our soul that is truly evergreen.

Emptiness is insatiable – the void, so difficult to silence. If you never learn to sit with it, you’ll forever be seeking to fill it with more. No matter how much you do, it will never be enough. No matter how much you earn, you will always want more. No matter how much you consume, you will continue to crave more. Like a junkie chasing the high, the cycle continues to revolve. Sustainable change doesn’t originate from an outside source, it comes solely from within.

True healing will require you to be uncomfortable. It will force you to stretch, to be vulnerable, to lay your heart bare. It will prompt you to face the hardest truths and reconcile the fact that sometimes YOU are your biggest problem. It will force you into integrity, opening up every space you’ve ever built a wall. It takes processesing every hurt you thought you’d moved beyond, only to discover that it has actually been lingering there all along, festering inside, waiting to be felt, waiting to be seen, waiting to be set free.

One day, you will realize that true success is not some place into which you arrive, but the way you choose to take each step; the way you make the most of everything and everyone around you. One day, you will realize that the path to where you want to be is paved from the pieces you already have, sitting right there in front of you. One day, you will realize that you were only ever meant to do what you can with what you have. And, one day, when you finally make the decision to step off the hedonic treadmill, you will know that if you just keep moving forward in the direction of your own heart’s calling, you will arrive where you truly belong.

I’ve been reflecting back quite a bit recently… and as I shift my focus forward, into the next chapter of my life, I can’t help but notice how going from being worried about what might happen next, to being excited about whatever happens next is such a priceless mental shift!

#BeyondTheBoylstonLine